Friday Flash: "Girlfriend Electric"
She tells me she has green eyes, pink hair, and likes to wear black military boots with spikes around the ankles.
Like spurs? I ask.
Her reply is a non-ironic wtf?,so I change the subject.
Don’t people think you’re weird? Do they move to the opposite side of the street when you walk by?
Sometimes, she answers, but I don’t care. Screw them.
I think I’m in love. We chat for hours, raiding and talking, dying and laughing, until the first rays of sunlight spill over the horizon and I know the day ahead will be full of heavy eyelids, an aching stomach, and panicked moments of seeing non-existent spiders in the corners of my vision.
But it doesn’t matter. I can make it through the day. Tonight, I’ll see her again—or at least, a version of her.
By 9pm, all I want to do is crawl into bed. That’s a lie. All I want to do is divided between sleep and Rav3n Thorn3claw and her beautiful pale skin and black hair and delicate, pointed ears. Last night, I asked why she didn’t model Rav3n after her own self. When you have pink hair, why would you give your avatar such an average appearance?
She merely typed inlol and aggroed the next mob. I wasn’t ready. She was flirting with me. I could tell.
I log on and she’s waiting. She doesn’t say much, but we take down the area boss together and she lets me pick up all the loot. Even gives me the rare Sword of Darkslayer when it drops reserved for her.
I’ve loved that sword ever since I saw the prototype drawings on GameBlog. I love Rav3n Thorn3claw even more.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if we could meet someday? I ask, hoping I don’t sound like a creepy stalker.
It would, she answers. Ten minutes pass. Send me a pic!
I panic. I’m not ugly, but I’m not the hottest guy around. I know this. Girls at school have told me.
Only if you send me one too.
I email my pic and go to bed still waiting for hers. I dream of oval-shaped green eyes and black eyeliner, pink pixie-cut hair, Invader Zim tank-tops from Hot Topic, spiked jewelry, pouted dark lips…
In the morning, my dream girl invades my inbox. I print out the picture. Seven times. By the end of the day, the first copy is torn from too many refolds. I spend my day dreaming of Rav3n Thorn3claw.
I have to see her.
Three months later, she is in town with her parents. We’re going to meet for coffee.
I have visions of proposing, but that’s crazy. My pixie-girl won’t be up for that, not yet. Someday. I hope she’s not disappointed by seeing me in person. I sent my best angle. I’ve gained weight since then.
I’m at the table, holding black roses. Rav3n will love them. They’ll match her boots. As the minutes pass, breathing gets harder and harder, until I’m afraid I’ll stop breathing altogether, when the door of the café opens and in walks a cute, petit girl with long, brown hair. Brown eyes. A sundress with red flowers, flip-flops on her feet, and a thin scarf around her next.
Time stops when she looks at me.
She smiles, and I know the truth.
I squeeze the black roses tight in my fist, stems bulging against my fingers like the heart in my chest, and pull away from her gaze.
She steps toward me.
I yearn to press delete.
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